Love, Maci
“Dear NICU Mama, I hope you give yourself permission to grieve what you lost as you journey through your baby’s complex story. I hope you give yourself the compassion to know it’s normal to feel sad about losing a normal pregnancy, delivery, and postpartum journey. It’s okay to long for the 3AM bedside bassinet feeds, hearing your baby cry or giggle, or what could have been if your baby didn’t have surgery. I hope you give yourself grace as you face jealousy and the “why me’s.” I hope you give yourself permission to cry. The NICU journey is devastating, exhausting, painful and heavy.
All these normal feelings aside, NICU mama I hope you know you are among some of the strongest women. There is uniqueness, beauty and joy in your baby’s milestones. There’s happiness and relief in hearing their soft raspy cry after being intubated for weeks. There is comfort in the NICU sisterhood.
NICU mama I hope you give yourself permission to take as long as you need to find that joy in your baby’s life. You are your baby’s advocate, voice, comfort and strength. You are stronger than you feel. You are more useful than you feel. You are a NICU mama. There are rainbows after the storms. Hang on tight, you’ve got this.”
Love,
Maci
More of Maci + Dallas’ NICU Story:
“Dallas was born at 26&4, 1lb 10oz, 12.5” long due to severe pre-eclampsia. Our NICU journey continues as I write this, we are on day 110!
I had just graduated college in surgical technology and worked my very first shift when I went in the next day for my routine OB appt at 25 weeks. My BP was 170/114. They started me on 2 blood pressure meds and put me on bed rest. I went in to MFM and they informed us he went from the 30th percentile of growth to the 3rd. He had extreme IUGR and absent end-diastolic flow. I was sent to L&D immediately.
I was place on a magnesium drip for 5 days total and Dallas was born 2 days after admission in a scheduled c section. He was immediately intubated and extubated within 24 hours. It wasn’t soon after we learned of his PDA and he crashed and was reintubated. He had no brain bleeds and always did well on his feeds. He was diagnosed with Pulmonary Interstitial Emphysema and atelectasis of both lungs. It was determined on day 8 of life he would need to be life flighted to another state for their jet ventilator and a Level IV NICU.
He was on the jet for 15 weeks before the decision was made to receive a tracheostomy, g tube, and repair 2 hernias! He also had a battle with necrotizing enterocolitis! He is now 42&2, and thriving. My husband and I drive back and forth every weekend 3 hours away from home to be with baby Dal. We still have no idea when we are coming home. We just have to get big enough and stable enough for a home vent! He is our little miracle! “
