Love, Dionne

Dear NICU Mama,

You and your full term NICU baby are trying so hard. You, to hold it together anytime someone asks you how you are. Your babe, to get better so they can come home to your loving arms.

No one tells you how hard it is to see all the other happy mamas with their newborns and then be unable to hold yours. You feel cheated out of your promised golden hour after delivery. It's especially difficult noticing that your baby is bigger than the others around them, so why do they need to be here? No one explains that even though your baby is a little bigger, it doesn't mean your baby doesn't need the NICU.

No one tells you that in the NICU, getting to hold your baby for a few minutes each day feels like a blessing. No one tells you how quick it takes you to no longer care if people see you crying walking the halls or while you pump behind your child's station, frantically trying to feed a child who needs more than you can offer. And definitely no one knows what to say when you tell them your child is in the NICU.

But we know. Us mamas who have been through it know how you feel. The desperation of trying to feed a baby who isn't really interested in eating. The hurt of leaving your child and sitting in their nursery, waiting for them to come home. And the defeat when they say it'll be "just a couple more days" every time you ask when they can come home.

But they also don't tell you the relief of knowing the nurses care so much for your child. The pride of seeing them progress a little more each day and the pure joy when they tell you it's your day to graduate.

So be still and know that you are not alone. We've been where you are and you're a part of us now. We've got you, mama.”

Love,

Dionne

More of Dionne’s NICU journey:

Dionne’s daughter was born at 36 weeks due to her diabetes. Her blood sugar was incredibly low when she was born and she wasn't breathing on her own. She had IV fluids for the first week to help stabilize her blood sugar, as well as CPAP for the first two days. They spent 16 days total in the NICU and went home on oxygen because her neck wasn't strong enough to hold her head up enough to keep her O2 sats steady in a car seat. She's happy and thriving now and they couldn't be happier!