Love, Victoria

“Dear NICU Mama, In moments of fear, I hope you know just how strong you are. You have gone through one of the hardest life events, and you are allowed to feel all the feelings. If you feel overwhelmed, remember that you are all your child needs.

I hope that you are gentle with yourself and realize that feelings of fear and worry are okay, especially in the situation you are in. But I also hope you take steps to challenge your feelings and take care of yourself so that you can be present for your child—and sometimes, more importantly, yourself.

Intrusive thoughts can be overwhelming and debilitating. You may find yourself dwelling on the “whys” and the “what if’s” and fearful of what’s to come because of what’s happened in the past. It can be hard to be fully present for the tiny miracles under these conditions, but I know you can do it.

Above all else, I hope you ask for help. I hope you allow yourself to cry it out. Allow yourself to leave your baby for a few minutes to make sure you can eat and take care of yourself. It may feel like new fears await around every corner you turn. Allow yourself to reach out to other moms. You may fear what others think of you, but know there is nothing wrong with you for needing more time to process. And most of all, please know that your baby’s NICU stay was not your fault.

In moments of fear I hope you remember who you are and spend time doing things that bring happiness to your life. I hope you remember that you are an amazing mother, and the fact that you have such strong feelings of fear is part of being a good mom. It means you are deeply affected by what has happened to your family, your child, your partner, and you. No one is ever prepared to have a child in the NICU, and it takes a tremendous amount of strength.”

Love,
Victoria

More of Victoria + Adalyn’s NICU Journey:

 “Our story wasn’t the typical NICU story. Adalyn was a week past her due date of April 6. She was born on April 12th, 2021 (4.12) at 4:12 AM! She suffered from meconium aspiration at birth, which led to fetal acidosis and pulmonary hypertension. I had a “normal” pregnancy; however, my pre-birth experience was traumatizing. Addie and I both fought through five days of what is called prodromal labor, along with an elevated heart rate. I still believe Addie was under stress and fighting those five days before she was born. We are eternally grateful for our nurses at the Sutter Sacramento NICU. Having a baby during Covid was scary enough, not to mention a baby with breathing problems. The NICU nurses were angels—they eased our worries and comforted us through the hardest days of our lives. We could call them at any time, as we couldn’t stay with our baby girl or even hold her until she was a week old. We will always remember our nurses fondly: Michelle, Hannah, Liz, Elena, Patty, and Jenna. Thank you for caring for our baby—it is because of you that Addie is thriving and becoming such a strong and happy baby. We are so thankful for the NICU and the nurses who saved our little girl's life. Adalyn is currently down to five specialized doctors as of yesterday. She saw her cardiologist for the last time! Her echo showed that her heart is working as it should be! She has been off oxygen since July and has been thriving healthwise.”