Love, Salma

“Dear NICU Mama, Nothing prepares you to mother through a global pandemic, but you can find hope in your connections - especially with your baby.

When you first see them, it might be hard to believe that this tiny warrior is yours. But they are. It is your voice they know, the beat of your heart that soothes them, and the connection with your skin that helps them grow stronger. No one can do for your baby what you can.

I know it may feel like the nurses do your baby’s cares with more ease, that the neonatologists are more of the experts than you, and that you are not spending as much time with your baby as you would want to because of the access restrictions. All of these things might be true, but your connection makes you your baby’s best advocate.

Skin to skin isn’t just good for your baby - that connection is good for you too. It might be hard to believe that you could ever stop worrying right now, but your baby will calm you. I like to think they share some of their superhero powers with us, so enjoy those skin to skin cuddles!

Connection with other NICU mums will also bring you hope. Seeing their NICU grads walk, talk, and become actual university graduates will show you that there is a life to be lived once you leave the NICU. I know you’re worried that other NICU mums will not understand what you are going through because the NICU experience outside of a pandemic might sound really different. But I promise you that once you make those connections, you will start to hear the parallels with your own experience.

This isn’t the birth you planned and this isn’t the world anyone knows or imagined. I know you might not always believe it but mama it’s true – you are the world that your baby knows. Yes they have been introduced to a new one, but you will always be their first home. You might be worrying about bonding with your baby, but your baby already feels the bond with you. Hold on to that connection and it will get you through this storm. What awaits you on the other side is worth holding on for.”-Salma

Love,
Salma

More of Salma + her son’s NICU journey:

“After a healthy and uncomplicated pregnancy I started to have bleeding and after a week in hospital my baby boy arrived at 27 weeks gestational age. The next day the pandemic was declared and within 2 weeks we were in a lockdown. The hospital removed 24 hour access for both parents and for 8 weeks only allowed mums to visit for 2 hours mad. No dads allowed at all. During this time my son was resuscitated twice and I had to face that alone. By the grace of god he is home with us and has been for two months. I experienced all my NICU journey in the shadow of the pandemic and almost all of the time the UK was in lockdown. It took me so many weeks if not months to feel the things I do in the letter so I hope if any other mums find themselves in this position it helps them.”