Love, Kelsie

Dear NICU Mama,

When it feels like too much, please know that that’s okay. I promise you it will pass. What I can’t promise you is that it won’t come back. Because those feelings may come back time and time again. But each time will be different, and it might be worse and it might be better. But you will be okay. Please promise me that you believe that you will be okay?

I promise you that you will become an incredibly strong and resilient mama. Please know that when it feels like too much, you CAN take time out for you. It is incredibly important to take time away from NICU and just be with yourself. You could go for a coffee, a walk or go shopping - but please do this by yourself. It is so powerful to sit with yourself in your own thoughts and in your own time. A chance to stop, a chance to breathe, a chance to just be. Please promise me you will do this?

I promise you that it is normal for you to get the mama guilts. You may feel incredibly guilty that you have left the NICU to do something for you. You may question yourself and ask yourself if you should be doing this. But you know what? You need it. You need to do something for you. In order for you to be the best mama you can be to your little one, you need to be the best version of yourself that you can be in this moment. By looking after you, you are showing your baby that you know how to love and care for yourself. This is such an important thing to be able to show and teach your little one. Please promise me you will do this?

I promise you it is okay to reach out for help from someone outside of your inner support circle. That might be a counsellor or a psychologist. It shows such strength and courage in being able to access that help. Know that this is not a failure, it’s not a sign that you're not coping, and it is not a weakness. You need to chat. You need to cry. You need to listen. You need this. Please promise me you will do this?

I promise you that I am incredibly proud of you. Please promise me that you are incredibly proud of you?

Love,

Kelsie

More of Kelsie’s + Kennedy’s NICU journey:

Kelsie went into spontaneous labor with Kennedy at 27+6. They were planning on having an elective c-section after a very traumatic emergency c-section with their first born, so this totally threw them. She had a vaginal birth as she was not allowed a c-section and went into labour early hours on Thursday and had Kennedy at 4.20pm that day. Medication didn't work! After a few hours, Kennedy and her husband were flown to a NICU in another city as their local hospital only had a SCBU. They spent 4 weeks in Wellington, and then transferred back home to their local hospital where they spent another 7 weeks. They are home on oxygen as Kennedy has chronic lung disease. But she has done amazingly well!