Love, Jessica

Dear NICU Mama,

My hope for you in 2020 is to find your strength. This is not, in a million years, what you were expecting. When you found out that you were pregnant, when you crafted the hopes and dreams for the little one inside of you, NICU was not in your plans. It never is. Whatever your journey that led you to these four walls, it is never a sought-after choice. It is, however, a journey that will teach you a lot about your little fighter, and even more about yourself.

I hope that you can find family in those who are helping- the doctors, nurses, therapists, and support staff. To feel comfortable and heard in their presence makes a difference- knowing that your child is in the hands of capable providers and that you are the most integral part of the team will make the nighttime goodbyes a touch less painful. Know that you can and should ask them questions, challenge their thinking, ask for help, and offer them ideas- you are your child’s expert, even if your medical knowledge was limited, like mine.

Know that it is okay to have bad days. When your expectation and reality do not align, you will be disappointed. The most cliche aspect of the NICU, the rollercoaster, is discussed for a reason. Not every day will be your brightest. With every setback, the sun will set and a new day will bring positive changes and another chance to move forward. You are one day closer to home.

Above all, know that you can do this. It is not what you wanted, it is not what you hoped for, but it is your reality. Whether you are here for ten days or two hundred and fifty, this place will show you what you are made of. My hope is that you can reach inside and find the strength that resides deep within you- do it for your baby, but also do it for you. I hope that you see the incredible, fierce woman within and one day, when this chapter is behind you, be proud of all she has accomplished.” -Jessica

More of Jessica + Lily’s Story:

Lily was born at 24 weeks and 3 days gestation weighing 1 pound, 1 ounce. She is a surviving twin. She spent 256 days in the NICU, underwent three surgeries, had several infections and codes, and came home in April with a trach and gtube. She is absolutely thriving at home, and keeping her parents on their toes!