Love, Danielle

“Dear NICU Mama, When you feel alone, I hope you know that there are many others walking right alongside you.

We may be walking on separate paths, and at different times, but we’re all walking in the same direction. We’re all walking towards each tiny achievement, towards each major milestone, towards the hopefulness that undoubtedly plagues our minds. We’re walking hand in hand towards the unknown, praying our babies feel the love we have to offer because maybe, just maybe, feeling alone won’t hurt as deep and will be worth it.

I acknowledge you may feel alone because I too, felt alone and in the dark. And that’s okay. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t a sister standing right there ready to take your hand and bring you back to the light.

I hope you know that while walking in your aloneness you’re also walking hand in hand with those who have gone before you, those who are right beside you, and those who will follow behind you. And in the end, I hope you find that you were never truly alone.”

Love,
Danielle

More of Danielle + Weston’s NICU Journey:

“Weston was born at 26 weeks and 5 days, on January 2nd 2022, weighing 2lbs 10oz, while we were on Christmas vacation visiting my husbands family in Germany. I went into premature labor the day before we were suppose to fly back to the states.

The amniotic sac was prolapsed, so I was immediately put on bed rest, but with each contraction Weston’s heart rate would dip, so the next best option was to do an emergency c-section. Many doctors came in to brief us on subjects like what to expect from surgery all the way to what potential defects our son may have, all in very broken English. And within two hours our son was born. 

We spent 73 days in the NICU. The first five of which I wasn’t allowed to see my son. Upon my arrival to the hospital, I had tested “weak” positive for Covid and I was forced to isolate in my room alone. I was isolated in a hospital where I didn’t speak their language. Those were the darkest days of my life. I’ve never felt so alone. I was constantly plagued by the fact that my sweet boy should be safe and in my womb still and that I had somehow done something wrong. I blamed my body. But I was able to find hope in the Dear NICU Mama Instagram, as I slowly recovered and eventually was cleared to visit my baby. 

Weston had a grade 4 brain bleed after birth, which eventually stopped. And later had excess spinal fluid building up in his brain. With so much prayer and by the grace of God, the spinal fluid began to drain on its own. From then on, our battles were strengthening his lungs so he could breathe without the CPAP and then eventually figuring out how to eat on his own. 

Skipping to the good part, Weston was released on March 15, 2022. Three weeks before his due date. We were able to get him his emergency passport that week and fly home to the states the following week. We are so grateful to have our healthy boy home with us, he now weighs 10 lbs!”