Love, Carrie

“Dear NICU Mama, Your birth story tells the story of becoming. It’s the story of shedding the version of yourself that existed before you so courageously brought your miracle into the world, and the story of stepping into the new and unexpected role of NICU Mama. It’s a role you never imagined yourself playing, but one you are navigating so beautifully. You’re learning new diagnoses, medical terminology, machines, and monitors … all while learning your baby and what it means to be their mother.

Your birth story tells the story of your undoing and your rebuilding. Your ideas about pregnancy, birth, golden hours, perfect newborn photoshoots, and your first days connecting with your baby have all been undone. But through the pain and undoing, you are rebuilding something sacred. You are becoming more intentional with the way you connect and love. You are becoming a mother who celebrates every tiny victory, for your baby and for yourself. You are rebuilding your world that you watched crumble, and you are rebuilding it with a strength you didn’t realize was in you. And as you’re rebuilding, you are stepping into the version of yourself that you were meant to be. Because after all, mama, you were meant to be your baby’s mother and there is no one better suited for this role.

Your birth story tells the story of the most beautiful and profound metamorphosis. Be proud of who you’ve become, mama.”

Love,
Carrie

More of Carrie + Hattie’s NICU Journey:

“My daughter, Hattie, was born at 40 weeks and 2 days. I had a smooth pregnancy with zero complications. In triage, we learned that our daughter had passed meconium in the womb and had managed to flip from being head down to breech since my last midwife appointment 5 days prior. An ultrasound determined that the position of my placenta elevated my status to an emergency C-section in order for her to be delivered safely. At 8:52pm on July 20, 2021, our beautiful baby girl, Hattie Reed Gibson, was brought into the world. 

Hattie was evaluated by the NICU team after delivery and initially deemed healthy enough to stay with my husband and I. We had five beautiful hours together before they found that she was having difficulty breathing. The next thing we knew, our daughter was rushed away for respiratory support. We learned that her meconium aspiration had led to pneumonia and she was incredibly sick and fighting for her life. She was initially on C-Pap, later intubated, then again graduated back to C-Pap, and eventually received oxygen support through a nasal cannula for a few weeks. After treating Hattie’s pneumonia with antibiotics and several failed attempts trying her on room air, a pulmonary echocardiogram revealed no sign of lung issues; however, they found an unexpected heart condition. 

Hattie was diagnosed with a coarctation of the aorta and was transferred from a Level 3 to a Level 4 Children's Hospital at 2 weeks old. There we learned that in addition to her coarctation, Hattie has mitral and aortic valve stenosis, left ventricular hypertrophy, and a PDA duct that did not close after birth. Hattie graduated from the NICU on her 19th day of life and it was everything we had been dreaming of. Because of the nature of her heart condition, Hattie is continually monitored by a team of doctors but has remained in a stabilized holding pattern since birth. 

Hattie is now an active, curious, happy 20-month old who loves the outdoors, soccer, dress up, making friends, and books. While the long-term status of her heart condition is something we do not have answers for, we feel incredibly lucky that we’ve been able to avoid heart surgery for the time being.”