Love, Ashley

“Dear NICU Mama, As you navigate life after NICU, always remember that you are strong enough for this journey.

I know it was scary when your baby was discharged from the NICU.  I know sometimes it seems as if you will never get to the end of your to-do list. I know it feels like you are always on the phone with your insurance company, the pharmacy and your hospital’s billing department. I know you are exhausted. I know you sometimes question if you have what it takes to care for your baby and to give them the best possible life.  I know you sometimes wonder if you are enough and if what you have, will be enough.  

Please know you do have what it takes.  You are more than enough.  And what you have is more than enough.  I am not saying that life will always be easy.  I’m not saying that the road ahead will be smooth and without potholes along the way, but you will rise to the occasion.  I am saying that over time, you will develop systems and put tools into place to make the journey easier. And you will meet other NICU mamas who will gladly show you the way. 

The tunnel may seem dark now and never ending, but one day you will find the light. Will it be easy? Not at all. But once you find it, it will be beautiful and warm. And healing too.  I will leave you with a piece of advice that was shared with me at the beginning of my own NICU journey. Your only job is to love your child and give them the necessary tools and they will show you exactly what they are capable of.  

So please remember on those dark, never-ending days, you are enough. You are a fighter. And so is your baby.”

Love,
Ashley  

More of Ashley + Kolin’s NICU Story:

“My Kolin came crashing into this world at 25 weeks gestation via emergency c-section. Kolin was flown to a larger hospital a few hours after birth.  He developed bilateral brain bleeds, PVLs, and hydrocephalus that required a shunt.  We were in the NICU for 183 long days and at times, it felt like I was free falling without anything to catch me.  There were times when I wondered if Kolin would live.  We were told of all the things that Kolin may not ever do but you know what?  Kolin turned five last month and he is so full of joy and light.  He knows his shapes and colors.  He loves counting and spelling.  He loves his tablet and bubbles. He loves taking things apart. He is currently non-verbal but knows how to express his needs and wants.  He has the best laugh and he is the absolute joy of my life.”