S8 Ep1 Transcription
Season 8 Ep 1
•• Please note that this is a computer generated transcript and there are potential errors. For this recording, there was an error with the recording software so unfortunately the voices are not labeled in the transcription.
Welcome to Season 8 + Mamas Call In!
Intro: [00:00:00] Welcome to the Dear NICU Mama podcast. This podcast is a safe place to connect with other NICU moms by listening to interviews with trauma informed medical and maternal mental health experts, remarkable stories from the NICU, and intentional round table conversations. Our hope is that you feel like you're sitting across the table from another NICU sister and feel seen and validated in your experience.
Intro: No matter where you are on your healing journey, this podcast is here to remind you that you are not alone. Welcome to the sisterhood.
Ashley: Hello, Mamas, and welcome back to the Dear NICU Mama podcast. This is a long time coming. We have taken a little bit of a hiatus with the podcast to really just kind of refine and restructure and just come back with a brand new perspective and, heart.
Ashley: And I am so excited to be back here with you today. Before we hop in, we have one very exciting announcement. And that is that [00:01:00] we have a new Dear NICU Mama podcast co host, and it is the one and only Aisha. Aisha, hello!
Aisha: awesome to be here. I'm so excited. I can't believe it, and wow, what a dream.
Ashley: We are also so excited, , to any of our longtime listeners, , you probably recognize Aisha's name and voice. She's been on many podcast episodes in the past, and, , if you haven't heard her story, make sure to go back and listen but we are so thrilled to have you, Aisha, and you're just such a treasured part of this team, and so we are So, so grateful for you.
Ashley: And we also just want to clear the air that this onboarding is from a very beautiful place. , Martha is crushing it at her day job and we wanted to make sure that she had that space to pursue that and also have time for her family and just everything else in life that comes our way. And so we miss her dearly.
Ashley: We love her dearly. She'll always be a special part of the team. But,, in celebration of her crushing her day [00:02:00] job and Dear NICU Mama continuing to move forward, we're super excited to have Aisha here. So,
Aisha: Hi, yes, I have some big shoes to fill, and unfortunately I am not as funny as Martha, so we're gonna be, we're gonna be missing a little bit of that comedic um, specialness that she brought to the podcast, but I am so happy, and yes, it's It's, you know, as NICU moms, we know that there are seasons , and in those seasons, we have to do what's best for our families.
Aisha: And, , we're so proud , of Martha , for taking that step and, and she knows that she has such a big place in all of our hearts. And in my heart and her story has been instrumental in my healing journey. Um, so I'm just really grateful for her and how she's paved the way and so grateful to be here and, , be part of this because yeah, the podcast has been such.
Aisha: Uh, resource for me in my journey and listening to all the [00:03:00] stories of moms, of specialists and experts. It's surreal to, to then now also kind of be part of it and, and give back as well. So thank you for the opportunity and I'm really excited for this new season.
Ashley: We are too. I'm very excited. When Martha made the official announcement that she'd be stepping back from the podcast, it was kind of like a, oh, you know, because me and her had such a banter and we just kind of had this like podcast connection. And so it took us a minute to just think about, like, you know, what do we want the podcast to look like moving forward?
Ashley: Because the podcast isn't going anywhere. It's still such a special and important part of our mission and what we do. And so when we started to think about, like, you know, what type of voice, what type of personality, what type of Heart would really be, um, essential in keeping the podcast moving forward.
Ashley: You were definitely the first name that came to mind. And so, I'm so excited to have you a part of it. And, um, I know that you will nurture and [00:04:00] take care of this sisterhood beautifully. And so, it's going to be a wonderful next season. And I'm so happy to have you a part of it. Well, Mamas, what a whirlwind we got through the holidays.
Ashley: 2024 kicked off, um, if you are a Swifty, um, the Chiefs won the Super Bowl and I don't know if you could ask for more than that.
Aisha: Yes. Oh my gosh. Me neither.
Ashley: uh, I'm not even a true Swifty, but I was invested because it was fun to watch it with people who were. So I, um, yeah, so I feel like it broke the internet,
Aisha: I mean, she's killin it. So, go, go, go women, you know?
Ashley: For sure, but no, it was, uh, I think I, you know, we hopped into cold and flu season and I know so many in our community have been sick or worried about sickness, or all of the above. It's just It's like always a crazy time of year and so thank you for giving us the space to take [00:05:00] that break to really reflect on 2023 and what we hope 2024 can offer in regards to the podcast but we're super excited for what's to come and we just want to reiterate too that the heart and purpose of the podcast is not going anywhere.
Ashley: That the mission and purpose and heart of the podcast is not going anywhere.
Ashley: And so, if you are a new listener, um, you know, the podcast is really just a gentle way for you to be able to connect with other moms from the safety of where your heart feels safe. So, for some that's at NICU bedside, for others that's commuting to and from the NICU, for others that's at home with their baby or maybe you're 5, 10 years out from your experience and you're really just processing it all.
Ashley: Um, so really it's just you get to press play. You get to press pause as your heart feels ready for it. And so we have, you know, a variety of episodes from specialists that specialize in maternal mental health, obstetrics, the NICU, all of the above. We have roundtable episodes, which we're excited to do more of [00:06:00] in the upcoming season.
Ashley: And then, of course, just stories of hope from NICU moms themselves. And so it's going to be a
Aisha: it really is I'm so excited and I'm so excited to continue to learn because I've learned so much through these episodes to continue to be inspired by stories of hope that you mentioned and it's yeah, it's gonna be it's gonna be really special and I think We're really excited to hear more from you, NICU moms who are part of the sisterhood.
Aisha: And so it's going to be, it's going to be real special. So I'm really excited.
Ashley: I love it. Well, and for our very first episode, it is going to be a little bit of a different one. Um, we're doing a Mama's Call In episode. Now, we've done these before in the past, but we thought it would be fitting with Valentine's Day to do an episode, um, to have moms in our sisterhood call or write in and share about dates or just more special moments that they had with their partners in the NICU.
Ashley: Uh, we [00:07:00] also want to reiterate too that, we recognize that there are NICU Mamas in our sisterhood, many of them, who didn't have a partner to walk through the NICU with. And so we also want you to know that we honor you this Valentine's Day and, um, we see you as valuable, loved, and worthy. We hope that you just feel really taken care of this holiday and just know that the sisterhood sees you and honors your significant journey as
Aisha: absolutely.
Ashley: So, Aisha, in the spirit of this question, do you have a fun story of a date night that you and Andy had together or just a moment that was special that you look back on the NICU and it's like, oh yeah,
Ashley: that one was a good
Ashley: one?
Aisha: Oh my goodness. Yes. One stands out for sure, but, um, kind of like how you were saying, I think it's important to recognize like the NICU is such a high. Pressure, like stressful time. Um, and so, that doesn't go away just because you, , [00:08:00] decide to maybe go out. I mean, , we were together the whole time.
Aisha: Um, and we were also, in the NICU during COVID. So there was even limited time we could spend inside of the NICU with our daughter, because. Of COVID restrictions, and just because we weren't physically, um, at bedside with our daughter didn't mean that our hearts and our minds weren't there as well. Um,
Ashley: hmm.
Aisha: but, um, I think it was so important and valuable for us to also recognize that we needed each other and we needed to take care of each other during this time.
Aisha: Um, and so,
Aisha: uh, we definitely tried to make it a priority as much as we could to, To see each other and, um, meet each other where we were at and where we needed to be cared for. Um, and so my husband is A huge foodie, like
Ashley: Ha ha
Aisha: if we go on a trip, what he is doing is researching all the best [00:09:00] restaurants to eat at while I'm doing like all like sightseeing and like where to go,
Ashley: Right.
Aisha: he, we plan it around like what restaurants we're going to go eat because he just loves, loves food.
Aisha: And we're from Chicago or the surrounding, um, cities of Chicago. And, , we have really good restaurants and like really nice. High end like Michelin star restaurants that we would never ever, , in a million years be able to go to really. , but because of this little thing called COVID, restaurants, I don't know if you remember, but restaurants weren't really doing that well because no one could go to them.
Aisha: So what they decided to do was, um, do a lot of takeout options and like, Bring food to your home and like have the experience of a restaurant at your home. And one of these particular restaurants was, um, Alinea. And it is, um,
Ashley: Oh, like the
Aisha: Alinea
Ashley: Gosh, wait, I think I've seen a documentary or something. [00:10:00] No, we actually watched that documentary in Chicago when we were there, because it felt like we were we might as well That's crazy!
Aisha: so, you know, Alinea, is like, that is a real fancy restaurant, like, I think it's like 500 a pop to go there, and it's like, this experience, and it's all about all your senses, and, um, yeah, we couldn't even dream about going there, I mean, even getting into To get a reservation is like years out, like you can't get a reservation.
Aisha: And so like every other restaurant, they needed to pivot. They needed to figure out what are we going to do? So they decided to make like an affordable take home Alinea experience. Like it was like a 15 course meal that you, they packed up and you can pick up and like have it at your house. And so one night, um, we.
Aisha: Decided that we were going to do it, whether we were going to order our [00:11:00] Alinea at home experience and it, it was awesome. I don't think it was particularly a special. , occasion, I think it was just, we're going to do this for ourselves.
Aisha: We deserve it. Um, we were probably like right in the middle of Ava's NICU stay and, um, we just brought our 15 course meal home, set it all out and had a really lovely time together talking and. Talking about Ava in the NICU, how much we've grown, seeing how much she has grown, dreaming of the day that we got to bring her home.
Aisha: And it was a really, really nice, um, like one of a kind, uh, date that we really wouldn't have had the opportunity to have any other way. So that will be treasured forever. Yes. How about you?
Ashley: that. I'm just, like, baffled because we, like, just watched that documentary and I remember thinking I feel like I I did. I looked up the menu just for fun to, like, see what it would cost [00:12:00] to eat there and I was like, yeah, that will never be a part of our life. But that's so cool that that happened.
Ashley: I mean, not that you had to have COVID happen, but
Ashley: I mean,
Ashley: that's
Aisha: all about the silver linings. Yes.
Ashley: It really is. Yes, for sure.
Ashley: Um, so I will preface this by saying that this was before Ryan got Celiac's disease. So he, he could eat anything he wanted. So the options in the cafeteria were unlimited. We didn't have to worry about cross contamination. It was a glorious time. But kind of our tradition, because we were both self employed at the time, and so we were able to kind of set our own hours as far as like what, time in the NICU looked like.
Ashley: So for us that was basically 24 7. We'd bring our laptops and work and do whatever we needed to do. But every Friday they had a wood fire pizza night. So, we would watch Modern Family and do kangaroo care in the NICU, and then we would hop down to the cafeteria and get pizza.
Ashley: And then, um, usually, at midnight, we'd get midnight waffles. And, oftentimes, on, like, a long [00:13:00] day, if it was just one of those days where we just couldn't leave, if he was more critical, or if there was, like, kind of an unexpected mishap, we'd be at the NICU pretty much 24 hours. And so Sometimes we'd get to that midnight hour and we were like, Do you want
Ashley: some midnight
Aisha: Oh my gosh.
Ashley: go down to the cafeteria and have that. But those were some of my most precious and favorite times together in the NICU. And it just made it feel more normal. I have like, I mean, we were in such a surreal uh, thing that, you know, none of our friends were going through this, but uh, it felt like, okay, we're making the, the most out of this situation with each other.
Ashley: And like you said, it was just so important to still fight for each other and for that time. And, you know, I think In that setting together, just give us the opportunity because, you know, it's like, it wasn't like we were leaving the hospital to go to a restaurant, like the reality of like, we're still in a hospital, we're still in the hospital cafeteria, there's patients all around the room, there's people receiving the best news of their life, the worst news of their life, our [00:14:00] son is fighting for his
Ashley: life,
Aisha: Mm hmm. We haven't showered for days.
Ashley: like, yeah, oh yeah, absolutely. So yeah, that, if I ever write a book one day, I think there'll be a chapter called
Ashley: midnight
Ashley: waffles. Midnight waffles.
Aisha: gosh. That's lovely. Well, because, you know, as you were saying that it, it made me think. Those moments become sacred, you know, like they become a something that you can kind of hold on to and cling to. And so it's so beautiful and oh my goodness, I love that title. You have to write it now.
Ashley: Right. It has to be in the book now if I ever write
Aisha: of course. That's so beautiful. Well, like you said, we asked, , our NICU community, our sisterhood to write in and call in for Their, um, special dates with their significant others and the responses were so sweet and, , I'm so excited to share them and just to [00:15:00] even maybe give ideas to NICU moms that maybe right now in the NICU, , a reminder that you too can, , take time with your significant other and, , like you said, fight for each other and, and seek those moments where you can, , Strengthen that bond.
Ashley: Mmhmm. Yes. Absolutely. I love it. Yes. So we will start off with some submissions we got via email and then we'll end the episode with some voicemails. So Aisha, do you want to kick off the first submission we
Ashley: got from
Aisha: Yes, so this is Emma from Wisconsin, and she wrote in, she said, while our 31 weeker was in the NICU, we were staying at the Ronald McDonald house. We didn't get out much and most of our dates were in the hospital cafeteria or the outdoor patio at the house. But one night in particular, we did, we were determined to have a real date.
Aisha: We first went to Target, yes, Target, to buy some bottles, then [00:16:00] wanted to go out to eat. We had spent all day in the NICU, so we were exhausted and definitely looking, um, at the part. Many places had already closed their kitchens for the night, but there was a small Thai restaurant that was still open. It ended up being some of the best food we'd ever had.
Aisha: And while we didn't talk much outside of our baby fighting for her life, it was so nice to just enjoy a meal together outside of the hospital. The night ended with us completely passed out watching Schitt's Creek, which became the comedic relief we needed during this time. Our dates aren't much more exciting now since we are trying our best to raise a strong, wild toddler, stomp, strong willed toddler. Hen wild.
Ashley: love that.
Aisha: Oh,
Ashley: Oh, I like, feel like when I'm reading these, I like,
Ashley: picture it half. It's
Ashley: like a
Aisha: it totally is. Yes. We got some good writers in our community.
Ashley: We do. Thank you, Emma,
Aisha: Yeah,
Ashley: that. Now I want to watch
Ashley: Schitt's Creek, too.
Aisha: It's so, have you seen it? It's actually so
Aisha: funny. [00:17:00]
Ashley: This is so
Aisha: Oh,
Ashley: I, yes, we all need those shows. Especially when we're going through
Ashley: something dramatic
Aisha: We need to
Aisha: take a break. Yes.
Ashley: So good. Okay, well the next one I see is from Francesca. She is from Lockport, Illinois. She writes in, My second son, who is a 32 weeker, was in the NICU for 55 days. Finally, the day came where they told me to bring his car seat in for his car seat test. I brought it in and my husband and I stayed there waiting until it was done and he passed.
Ashley: As soon as he was done, they told us he would be discharged the next day. Our nurse suggested my husband and I go out to dinner for a date night because Quote, it would be a while before we could do that again. We took her advice and went out to dinner and had the best time talking about how far our baby has come and how excited we were for him to come home and meet his big brother.
Ashley: And our nurse was right. The next time we went out to dinner, just the two of us was two years later, the day before our [00:18:00] 32 week twins
Ashley: were to be discharged. Whoa. It's the best memory. And I'm so glad that we did. I love that. That's so beautiful. And also,
Ashley: kudos to
Ashley: the
Aisha: I was gonna
Ashley: encouraged you guys to do that.
Ashley: Nurses are seriously heroes.
Aisha: are always looking out for us. Oh my goodness. Yeah. I love that so much. And I mean, it reminds me how fast things can happen too in the NICU. Like one day you're like, And then on the next, they're like, okay, you're going home. And it's just like a whirlwind.
Ashley: Yeah,
Ashley: absolutely.
Aisha: well, that was really sweet.
Aisha: Um, so then we have, Laura, and she is from Maine. My name is Laura and my favorite memories from the NICU were being able to video chat my husband at lunchtime. I'd be in our son's room so he could see and talk to our little man. We could connect and it was something we both looked forward to.
Aisha: He hated having to work while our son was in the hospital, but this was a really nice way [00:19:00] for him to really feel even more included. If I knew our son would have a first, I waited until my husband could be there that night after work. He was able to give our son his first bottle and his first bath together.
Aisha: Our 33 and three weeker will be two on March 26th. I affectionately referred to him as our beautiful tornado. He's thriving and we couldn't be more proud. And then she says to all the mamas, she goes, The days are long and many moments were scary and full of unknowns. Forcing myself to find some morsel of happy in the trauma helped me get through it.
Aisha: Having something to look forward to also helped. Sending you so much love and strength. XOXO Laura.
Ashley: I love that.
Aisha: Yes. Mmhmm.
Ashley: a good light too on just like the reality that you know, like you mentioned, especially during COVID, a lot of times you weren't able to be there at the same time. And so sometimes dates or just connection points looked like video chats, but that doesn't make them any less significant.
Ashley: In fact, maybe [00:20:00] even more because that's, that's what you had
Ashley: to fight to
Aisha: Absolutely. Yes. That beautiful perspective.
Ashley: Let's see. , So Tiffany wrote in,
Ashley: and she is from Florida. And she writes, Every Wednesday, a lady would bring us dinner so we didn't have to cook. We would sit on our patio and watch the sunset and eat our dinner and have, in capital letters, NO NICU TALK.
Ashley: I don't think we have had a meal on our patio, just the two of us, since they came home. But it was the one night of the week I looked forward to.
Ashley: I
Aisha: I love that, too. And I love the intentionality of setting a time, and a day in the week to do that. And it also is such a sweet reminder of, like, it takes a village and the people that are around us, ,
Aisha: I can be a part of that too. And so that was really sweet that someone would cook for them. That's so nice.
Ashley: Yeah, absolutely.
Aisha: Alright, so then we have Sarah, and she doesn't say where she's from, so I'll [00:21:00] just say Sarah. So, next up we have Sarah, and she writes, we didn't have date nights, but we obviously ate out basically every day. We were tight on money since my husband wasn't working, so we'd have 20 dates. We'd go out to eat at places like Olive Garden and Outback while trying to keep it under 20.
Aisha: It was definitely interesting. During something so stressful, I definitely think it's important to take care of yourself and each other to Two, because your baby needs you to be okay. Mmm, that's so awesome. And I love the challenge too. I bet that was very interesting.
Ashley: now I want some Olive Garden
Aisha: Oh my gosh, yes.
Ashley: I love it. All right, and then lastly, for our write in prompt, we have from Jennifer. She wrote, I wouldn't call it a date, well, maybe it was. I stayed at the hospital and didn't go home during her four month NICU stay. He could only come over every six to nine days because he was a department manager [00:22:00] and getting two days off in a row was hard.
Ashley: He did his snuggles with our girl when he was able to, but he said, she's getting the best care she can. I'm here to care for you.
Ashley: That is
Ashley: the
Aisha: Mmm,
Ashley: ever. So, he would take me out since I didn't have transportation. Mall Chinese and movies in my boarding manor room. Someone got him an Outback gift card so he took me out once.
Ashley: Our quote dates was time we got to see each other. Even cooking dinner together in the manor counted.
Aisha: that's so sweet. I love that.
Aisha: Yes,
Ashley: Oh, these are so beautiful! Thank you to all of the mamas who wrote in to share their, , response to the Valentine's prompt and we will definitely be doing more Mama's Call In episodes in the upcoming seasons.
Ashley: But, um, this was a fun one
Ashley: to kick
Ashley: off Valentine's Day.
Aisha: Yes.
Ashley: Well, to close out the episode, we have some special voicemails. , so we will hop into those right now.
Jessica: My name is Jessica, and I'm calling from Alberta, [00:23:00] Canada. My, , husband and I, we were in the NICU with our daughter, um, kind of during the height of COVID. And so he was very restricted in that he couldn't come to the hospital with me. Um, and I was also staying at Ronald McDonald's house because our NICU was out of the city that we live in.
Jessica: And so he wasn't allowed to be there either. So he was at home with our dogs, and I was alone in the city with our daughter in the NICU, and so our, um, ability to have dates was very limited, um, but, uh, one thing that we do love to do is that we play board games, um, so that's something that we enjoy doing in our spare time, and so we actually managed to find a way to play Battleship over FaceTime.
Jessica: Uh, so again, not like a super exciting date night idea, but, uh, we were in the middle of quarantine. We couldn't go anywhere. I was alone. He was alone in our respective cities. Um, well, we were [00:24:00] exactly where we needed to be at that time. And so, um, we made it work for us. It was really fun. We just kind of put the boards, like, put our ships on our boards and then play the game as you normally would.
Jessica: But we were just over face time. And so. It was something simple. Uh, and so we just made sure that, uh, the point where we did get a chance to meet up that we each had a board with us. And so, um, we did that many, many nights. Uh, we were at the NICU, uh, with our daughter for six and a half months. And so, we had plenty of time to, to get our battleship games in.
Jessica: But that was something that was really special to us, uh, because we could get Chat while we played, uh, and just did something that kind of helped get our minds off of everything else that was going on. So, yeah, I'm happy to share my response. Thanks so much. . Love the podcast. Bye.
Megan: Hi, dear NICU mama, my name is Melissa and I'm from green, Ohio and I just wanted to share what our Valentine's Day and the Nikki looked like [00:25:00] in 2014. My husband and I had our 1st child, she was born on February 13th, 2014 and. I delivered in one hospital and then she had to be transferred to a different hospital that had an appropriate NICU for her.
Megan: Because I had a c-section, I I was not able to go visit her, , that first day. And. During that time, our hospital did not offer, like, a day pass to go visit your baby, um, you had to be discharged. And so, I was just stuck in my hospital while she was in hers and, , the following day on Valentine's Day, the NICU had called and said, uh, we need you to, um, Come as soon as you can.
Megan: Um, your daughter is not doing well and we [00:26:00] want you to be able to be with her. So the hospital I was in quickly discharged me and got me over to see her. Um, it was there. We were told that, um, infection had just kind of taken over her body and there was not much more they could do. For her that the machines were, um, no longer going to be able to keep her alive and, um.
Megan: The doctor then looked over and said, I, I think every mom deserves to hold their baby and asked if I would like to hold her. And, um, at 1st, I felt a little hesitant to do so, because I felt scared. I felt just worried about. Um, her passing in my arms, I didn't know if I could handle that [00:27:00] emotionally, but I went ahead and said, yes, like that.
Megan: I would, I wanted to hold her because. I felt like there was nothing I could do for her in that moment, except to just hold her and let her feel secure and let her know that her mom was right there with her as she left this life. So she ended up passing, um, just a few moments after that on Valentine's Day.
Megan: my Husband and I look back on, you know, that Valentine's Day and there's a lot of pain and there will always be, .
Megan: I'm hurt when we, um, look back on that day, but also like the deepest love that we have ever felt in our lives happened that Valentine's Day, when we got to meet our daughter and spend time with her. And, um, [00:28:00] so we were able to have 3 children after her and every Valentine's Day, we, um. We continue to celebrate their big sister, Audrey, and we do it with a little Valentine's Day party and we to take and we just celebrate the impact that she had on our lives and that we know she had on.
Megan: Um, other people's lives around us and around her and, um, we just celebrate her life and the love that we have for her. So that is what our Valentine's Day looks like.
Megan: Hi, my name is Megan. I'm from Duluth, Minnesota, and a fun date night memory that my husband and I have from when we were in the NICU was there was a big football game going on. Um, we were fans of different teams at the time, and they were playing each other. And I remember sitting in the room, we grabbed [00:29:00] popcorn, um, NICU, made all the nurses jealous, um, brought comfy blankets, and just kind of turned the little, Couch in there, like the futon, into um, like I just said, cozy little couch, um, it was around Christmas time, and I remember my daughter had her little Christmas tree up in the room, um, and I just remember how cozy it was, and the nurses came in like, oh my gosh, this is the best, and so, I feel like just little moments making it a little more special with like an extra comfy blanket, or your favorite snack, um, you know, being What's In that space with my daughter, we could have left and watched the game elsewhere, but it felt just so intimate and special, um, to kind of envision what family life would be like after the NICU.
Maddie: Hi, dear NICU mama. My name is Maddie and I live in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. , today our question was what was one of our favorite date nights in the NICU? And I would say that, uh, my husband and I had a 27 and 2 [00:30:00] little girl and we spent 12 days in the hospital with myself.
Maddie: So our first six days was before our daughter was born and our six days after she was born and our entire time as a couple we really spent putting together puzzles. So I would say that that was like one of the most memorable times of our journey and I will forever cherish it because it felt like it was what we were supposed to do to stay connected as just a couple.
Maddie: It was beautiful. So, yeah.
Ashley: Well, thank you to all of our moms who left voicemails for our prompt, , it's so fun to hear the voices and just where you guys are listening from and how you tune in to the podcast.
Ashley: So thank you for taking the time to share those. If you follow us on Instagram, seven days ago it says we posted a post and one of our writers, Lindsey, wrote it and I just think it would be such a beautiful way to kind of close out the episode for any of our mamas listening who experienced a separation after the NICU or a divorce or are navigating that currently in the NICU.[00:31:00]
Ashley: And so as we kind of close out the quote of this piece is, Divorce or separation after the NICU is not a reflection of your worthiness. And I won't read all of it, make sure, we'll tag the post in the show notes, but she writes in here, Sometimes a NICU stay tests our connection. We process things differently.
Ashley: One needs contemplative silence while the other needs to share. One turns to old habits while the other seeks out new comforts. One tanks on the outside world, other children, work responsibilities, while the other dives into the NICU. It can feel like you're watching each other through a screen, and you might wonder if you'll find your way back to each other again.
Ashley: Sometimes a NICU stay reshapes our priorities. We realize that our new needs and patterns are no longer compatible, that our relationship isn't evolving with us. Things adjust, expectations change, and the relationship ends. The future holds new possibilities, even as we mourn the couple we were and the family we had envisioned.
Ashley: After the losses we already experienced, it can feel like a brutal blow. [00:32:00] But remember, NICU Mama, seasons change. Even the cruelest winter thaws, a new beauty emerges. Most importantly, give yourself grace. You are both healing, but healing is not always linear or easy. Know that your best is enough and trust that you will both find your way.
Aisha: That is so beautiful, yes,
Ashley: We love you,
Aisha: oh my
Aisha: goodness. Yeah, that is so beautiful. And yeah, I just, a reminder to the mamas that, , it isn't your fault. What, um, you guys are going through, what we've all been through, even in our relationships as we navigate the NICU, um, it's not your fault. And, You are doing the best you can with what you have right in front of you, and, um, that is enough.
Aisha: So, like Lindsay says, be gentle with yourselves, love yourselves, and love on those little NICU babies, those little, [00:33:00] little valentines you have. Mm hmm.
Ashley: I love it. Well, happy season 8. We're excited to be back. We will be back next week with a new episode, but it is so fun to be back and to be here connecting with all of you. And if you are a new listener, make sure to listen to all of the episodes before this. We have seven seasons of content and all of them are
Ashley: wonderful. And so there's unlimited listening to come. So, , we love you all. Happy Valentine's Day, and we will catch you guys next week.
Aisha: Bye!
Outro: Thank you so much for listening to the Dear NICU Mama podcast. If you loved this episode, we'd be so grateful for a review. For more ways to connect with the Dear NICU Mama Sisterhood, check out the links in the episode description.
