Love, Szehwei
“Dear NICU mama, When your baby sees you, they see their everything. You are everything they hoped for and more. This was not how you envisioned your pregnancy turning out, and disappointments find you too many times in this journey - but mama, you have not disappointed them.
When they see you, they see their very first home. You may still be navigating the crazy ups and downs in the hospital, preparing for your baby’s homecoming, or have gotten used to the rigor of medically complex care at home. But no matter where your baby is looking at you from, your voice, your touch and your presence will always remind them of their first home - for inside you, their fingerprints were formed and destinies began.
When they see you, they see the beauty of being human. Your joy and grief and everything in-between will teach them to embrace the full gamut of human emotions. There is beauty in it all, and there is no need to be perfect and hold it all together. They see you trying your best and you are more than enough.
And dear mamas whose babies have gone back to heaven, you and your babies will not be forgotten. When your baby sees you from above, they see your tears as you live with the pain that never goes away, and smiles when you look back on the time when they were with you. And when they see you, mama, they see themselves forever alive in your hearts that keep beating for them.
Your baby sees you, mama, and they love you for all that you are.”
Love,
Szehwei
More of Szehwei + Laura’s NICU Journey:
“My husband Immanuel and I welcomed our baby girl Laura in May 2021. She was a little over 28 weeks and a perfectly beautiful 700g. My pregnancy was relatively smooth and I felt good up through the time I was warded for an emergency c-section due to preeclampsia. To say that I was unprepared for what was to come would be an understatement.
The journey in the NICU and CICU has been a rollercoaster but she’s fought bravely through the chronic lung disease. She’s still charming everyone in the hospital after 9 long months. We’ve gotten used to the steps forward and back but these days look a little brighter as we get to carry her each day in the hospital, change her diapers, dress her up and do some of the simpler medical tasks.
Dear NICU Mama has been our source of comfort and empathy on days we couldn’t find it elsewhere. It’s easy to drown under all the emotions, medical complexities and questions on why this has happened. But to know that sisters all over the world can empathise with what we are going through is the greatest comfort we can get.
We honestly don’t know when we’ll finally get to be home together. We’re eager but we’re not going to rush our beautiful little warrior.
Thank you for being around for us on this NICU journey that has been longer than we hoped, but complexly beautiful as each of yours is - regardless of how long or short.”
