Love, Emma

“Dear NICU Mama, When you question what it means to be enough, I hope you know whatever you have in you to give in this moment–that is enough. However you can show up today for yourself, your children, your family–that is enough.

As moms, and NICU mamas especially, we often find ourselves asking what more we can do for our babies, our homes, our families, our work. Experiencing the NICU can leave you constantly wondering if you’re doing enough–pumping enough, being enough, processing enough, advocating enough, visiting enough, you name it. But you are. It’s hard to give ourselves the grace we need to remember that sometimes simply being is enough.

Hard as it may be, try not to compare today’s you to yesterday’s. Just because you had it in you yesterday to be present at the NICU for every set of cares doesn’t mean you aren’t doing enough if all you can only muster today is an extremely short visit. That is enough.

If sometimes all you can handle is a call to check in, and sometimes even that is too much to process, it is okay. That is enough.

NICU Mama, you are enough.”

Love,
Emma

More of Emma + Adelaide’s NICU Journey:

“Our daughter, Adelaide, was born at 28 + 3 and spent 68 days in the NICU in Springfield, OR on May 17, 2020. 

In October of 2019, we miscarried our first baby at 8 weeks. We immediately got pregnant with Adelaide in November. Throughout the whole pregnancy, I was bleeding and told several times that we would most likely lose this baby as well, most memorably on Christmas Day in the ER–hearing those dreaded words: “threatened miscarriage.”  

At 28 + 2, my water broke, and I started having contractions. Our local hospital could not handle a baby so premature and transferred me to a hospital over an hour away. They hoped to keep me pregnant for a few more weeks. We made it until 5am the next day before Adi was born via an emergency C-section. 

We found out I had developed an infection which had caused her umbilical cord to almost completely die. She was only 2.5 pounds when born. We were very, very lucky she only needed to be intubated for a few hours due to some swelling, with her excelling from Day 2 forward. She quickly became the breastfeeding champ of the NICU with nurses fighting to be her primary care and had a fairly easy journey once she started to grow. 

Of course, this happened during the height of  COVID as everything was shut down, so the Ronald McDonald house was closed, and the cafeteria was closed. So, we drove 2+ hours round trip every single day. We ate so much fast food, always in the car, never really feeling like we had a true home base. 

Although our NICU stay was one of the hardest things I’ve ever been through, I am so grateful for all of the amazing women I’ve met that have also been touched by their own NICU experiences. “