Love, Courtney

Dear NICU Mama,

As another year comes to a close, I hope you celebrate each day that has passed and find something to celebrate in everyday that is to come. Simply because, sweet mama, you made it through. 

Honor your strength, resilience, and courage. Even on the hardest of days when it might feel like you aren’t strong, resilient, or courageous, remember that your perfect NICU warrior knows your heart. They know and love all facets of you, because you are their mama.

I hope you celebrate the days when rays of sunshine bring brightness to your baby’s perfectly imperfect figure, highlighting the tubes, cords, and wires that are attached to their fragile little body; I also hope you celebrate the days when the skies mourn with you, mirroring this indescribable journey you are navigating through.

I hope you celebrate all of the ways that you showed up, and will continue to show up… learning how to advocate fearlessly for the health and wellbeing of both you and your baby in ways you never thought you knew how.

I hope you celebrate the memories of your NICU journey, mama – the moments where both joy and anguish may intertwine: holding your tiny child for the very first time, seeing your baby's precious face without a C-PAP mask, an ounce gained overnight, or learning to feed, swaddle, bathe, or dress them around the wires and tubes even when you were scared to death. These are memories made in a hospital, alongside doctors and nurses, which might not have been what you had envisioned for your newborn. It’s okay, sweet mama, to also celebrate memories filled with grief and sadness, feeling and acknowledging that this isn’t how it was “supposed to be.” Reflecting on those memories means you made it through.

Despite how difficult things may feel right now, NICU Mama, I have found that celebrations lie in the small moments you find connection, feel and see resilience in action while facing the challenges of the NICU, and simply just showing up – may they always be reminders that each and everyday you and your NICU warrior are worth celebrating.

-Courtney

More of Courtney + Elliott’s NICU Journey:

“My wife and I conceived our son via reciprocal IVF, I carried the embryo created by my wife’s egg and donor sperm. On June 27th 2022, after numerous ultrasounds coming back abnormal due to placental & umbilical cord abnormalities resulting in growth restriction of our son, I was sent to the hospital, yet again, for further evaluation. I was expecting to be checked out and sent home as I was many other times but instead I was admitted and told I would be hooked up to an IV, and prepped for an emergency c-section after being diagnosed with preeclampsia, and my learning that my son’s blood flow to his brain was abnormal which had not been the case previously. At 30+1 our son Elliott was born weighing just 2lbs 5 oz. He was in the NICU for 67 days and was released just 2 days before his due date. During our journey he had a few weeks of breathing support between the cpap and nasal cannula, but ultimately just needed more time to grow and develop his newborn suck/swallow/breathe skills to be able to eat on his own. He is absolutely thriving now and we couldn’t be more proud of him!”