Love, Caitlyn

“Dear NICU Mama, When you feel alone, I hope you know that you are unfortunately in good company. Not only are you and your baby fighting through this unexpected, terrible experience together, but other mamas and babies in the same NICU suite and in hospitals all across the world are going through the motions too.

Are you calculating the time until baby’s next feed to see if you can be there too? Are you waking up in the middle of the night to pump while you know a nurse is feeding your baby? Are you calling the nurse for an update of reassurance while on your couch at home missing your baby like crazy? You are not alone, I’ve been there.

If you’re like me, you didn’t prepare for this experience. You may still be in shock and high on the adrenaline from birth. It may hit you weeks later when you look back at pictures of your baby with tubes in their nose, IVs in their arm, and longing in their eyes.

But mama, the best is yet to come. This experience isn’t forever. Whether it’s a few days or weeks, I promise you will get through this.

This experience will stay with you forever. But, so will your baby. They know you’re there with them. You both are leaving a permanent mark on each other’s hearts of getting through this hard time together.

You are not alone. And wow, you and your baby are so strong.”

Love,
Caitlyn

More of Caitlyn + Ryder’s NICU Journey:

“After a 3 year battle with unexplained infertility and recurrent pregnancy loss, my husband and I got pregnant with our rainbow IVF baby in June 2021 after a successful Frozen Embryo Transfer and 2 rounds of IVF. Ryder was born at 39 weeks, 3 days gestation on February 16, 2022. 

I was induced at 39 weeks due to my gestational diabetes. We were in labor for 4 long days. After 3.5 hours of pushing and vacuum assistance, Ryder was born. He was immediately placed into the hands of the NICU team. He didn't breathe right away and his color didn't look good. After a few minutes, which felt like a lifetime, we heard his sweet cry. They took him right to the NICU for sepsis evaluation and breathing assistance. His C-Reactive Protein levels were elevated which is due to complications from prolonged rupture of membranes, stressful delivery, and maternal fever during labor (I had all 3). 

He spent 5 days in the NICU to receive antibiotics, a blood transfusion, breathing assistance, and a head ultrasound. He is home and healthy now and thankfully has no lasting complications. He is our sunshine boy and we are so grateful for his health. 

The NICU and our birth trauma brought up a lot from our past of TTC, infertility, and loss which we are working through and healing from every day.”