Love, Breanna
“Dear NICU Mama, As another year comes to a close, I hope you celebrate how far you have come.
You were strong when you were faced with a less than ideal, and certainly not as planned, delivery. You were strong when you pulled yourself from that wheelchair to gaze into your baby's isolette for the first time, only to see them covered with wires and breathing support. You were strong when you left the hospital at night, entrusting strangers to take care of your precious child. You were strong on the days when you received bad news, but fought to hold yourself together in the midst of what felt like chaos. Your baby is a strong warrior because they inherited that strength from you.
Through the good days and the bad days, you remained courageous and brave while providing continued support for your baby. You displayed courage when you asked the nurse to hold your baby and then lifted their little body to your chest for snuggles. You showed courage when you gave your baby their first skin to skin, their first bath, and their first bottle. You were courageous because you were supporting your baby’s healing, all while trying to heal yourself.
While you think of your child as brave and see all of the milestones that they have achieved, I hope you look at yourself in the mirror and see strength, courage, and perseverance. After all - that is what your baby sees in you.”
Love,
Breanna
More of Breanna + Silas + Quinn’s NICU Journeys:
“At my first ultrasound, I found out that I was pregnant with identical twins, which we learned shortly after were identical boys. I was ecstatic – I knew that it would be hard but it was so exciting. I was sent to a high risk doctor to monitor for complications. Against the odds, I had a completely healthy pregnancy… up until 24 weeks. I found out that my cervix had shorted and I was put on bedrest. Shortly after, I was diagnosed with TAPS. Twin Anemia Polycythemia Sequence is a rare complication found in twin pregnancies that share a placenta. Due to an imbalance of red blood cells across the placenta, one twin became anemic and the other became polycythemic. I had ultrasounds 2-3 times per week to monitor the situation, but all of their metrics were within range so we continued to take it day by day. I went in for my 28 week ultrasound and my heart was shattered – we had lost one of our twins, Quin. I will never forget the words, “I can’t find a heartbeat.” I was immediately hospitalized as I had started contracting and after some bloodwork, my platelet count had completely diminished. Three days later, I underwent a c section under general anesthesia as I was at severe risk to hemorrhage. The boys were born at 28 weeks and 4 days on 4/28/22, and it was honestly the scariest day of my life.
Although I wasn’t there for delivery, I was told that Silas came out screaming. Our little 3 lb 2 ouncer spent 72 days in the NICU, after a fairly straightforward stay given his gestation. His biggest challenge was his apnea; I will never forget the sound of the monitors when he would have a Brady, which he did quite frequently. He still suffers from a PDA and ASD (holes in his heart), but the hope is that they are small enough that they will someday close on their own. Besides this, he is a totally healthy and chunky six month old boy. He is already off of his preemie growth chart and larger than his term sister was at six months. I am convinced that he is trying to make his guardian angel proud.”
