An Open Letter to Our Families This Holiday Season

Dear Family,

We are so excited for the Holidays! There is nothing more magical than spending the Holidays with loved ones and family. However, the Holidays for us just aren’t that simple. To protect our baby’s immune system, we sometimes may avoid large family gatherings and choose to celebrate more intimately at home. For this Holiday season,

Please be honest with your health.

If you have a sore throat, were sick shortly before, didn’t get your flu shot, or your kid has a perpetual runny nose, please let me know before we show up. We might not come, but we won’t resent you for being truthful about it.

Please do not be offended if we only stay a short time and do not let others hold our baby!

All we want for this holiday season is to keep our daughter safe and healthy. As much as we would love to watch her surrounded by family and friends, our priority is her health!

If I do come to a gathering- please don't ignore me. I also went through something.

I'm not just there to bring a new baby for you to play with. And maybe let's not play pretend nothing scary happened. I'm open to taking about the good, the bad, and the ugly!

I hope you understand the holidays being mixed emotions for NICU mamas.

We’re overjoyed that our baby is home and want them to celebrate with us, but it also brings anxiety because being around all of the people we love brings germs. The thought of anything happening to our sweet babes brings us to tears. So give us grace if we ask 8 million times if you’re healthy, if we ask you to wash your hands again, or if we decide to stay home all together. It’s truly only because we want to protect the most precious thing in the world to us. We are still learning to navigate this new life outside hospital walls, and we would like to stay outside those walls.

Please don’t compare my baby to his nearest aged cousin.

We are proud of how far we’ve come, and those comparisons hurt.

Ask me how I am doing often.

Being around that many people in cold and flu season will be a big mental and emotional task for me.

Please don’t make fun of me for pulling out my wet ones and hand sanitizer.

And please understand that even though we’ve made note on how we wash our hands often, we would really appreciate you doing the same and using our wipes and/or sanitizer before touching. We would also appreciate you, as an adult, to make sure your kiddos just look, no touch, and that they do not get too close.

Please don’t be offended if i personally don’t come for the holidays.

I’m scared of bringing something back that will make them sick. As a healthy adult, I wouldn’t notice it but it could hurt them and I don’t what to risk that.

We are very excited that our baby is home for the holidays, but please remember that they are very little and their immune system isn’t built up yet.

We may only stay for a short time, and if you would like to hold the baby please wash your hands first and no kisses! Next year they’ll be the life of the party but they are just not there yet!

We love you and are so grateful for your understanding as we navigate the Holidays this year.

Love,

A NICU Mama